The inverse relationship between education, creativity and common sense

I have a hypothesis: The further you go in school, the less creative you are and the more common sense gets pushed out of your head to splatter in a wasted heap on the ground.

That explains why lawyers write the way they do. And speak the way they do, for that matter. I actually caught myself using the word "heretofore" in a conversation the other day. I have been guilty of over-explaining, over-analyzing and over-complicating virtually everything. It takes fifty words to say what my creative writing-self can say in three.

Did you know that after a cop gets done with cop school, he or she never gets out of a car again? It's always "I exited the vehicle."

Doctors tell you that the prognosis for recovery is very poor given the circumstances. That means someone is going to die.

Lawyers, well, feel free to submit your own lawyer jokes for this one. I'm taking the afternoon off. Lawyer-wise, anyway.

I have received some feedback on my novel, Martian Angels Have Red Wings. One person I gave it to likes the story a lot and has pointed out a few question marks. I'm still waiting on a few others to send me feedback before I re-edit the whole thing and send it out again. I am running out of agents to query.

Speaking of queries, look at the one on the page. It's for the book. Let me know what you think.

Spiders are here

While Halloween isn't quite here yet, I think my office is decked out in the ghoulish spirit of things already. After sitting here typing away for awhile the other day, I looked up and noticed that the ceiling had several (hundred) spiderwebs in the corners. And all along the wall. And in the window sill. These are not cobwebs.

And they are spreading.

If you've seen The Lord of The Rings, you know what spins webs of this size. The ones that stretch from wall to wall and ensnare everything around. There's fly carnage going on here. A mosquito massacre. The dry husks of her victims swing in the gentle air currents here in the basement.

I'm afraid to start cleaning them down. I don't want to end up as lunch. There's even a web strand running from the ceiling to the internet cable on this computer. I feel so connected.

Anyway, life's moving on in the books. Started Clean Sweep today. Continued New World and am waiting on several critiques for Martian Angels. One of these days, I'll be a real writer! (cross your fingers).

No change on the scorecard today.

Another Day, Another Idiot Lawyer

What do you call a bunch of skydiving lawyers?

- Skeet

I find the frustration of being a defense attorney rather redundant. It seems most days are filled with fighting the morons, be they clients, prosecutors or other attorneys. Rarely are there rewards. Today, there was a reward of getting to meet a client who has a lot to offer the world. Temper that with the moronic case that is built against that client and you find the source of my frustration.

So, to ward off the impending meltdown accompanied by bars from Louis XIV's "They're Coming To Take Me Away," I sit down and bang away at the keyboard for an hour or so. I've worked on the sequel to Martian Angels Have Red Wings and I think it's finally rolling along. I also did some background on the short novel that's bouncing around in my head, and the more I think about it, the more it feels like it could work.

I called the local newspaper editor last week to ask about writing a weekly column (the paper advertised that they needed some local columnists). I have yet to hear back at all, but I'll try again. Columns are another way of warding off insanity, you know!

Money is always a worry for me, but it can't overcome the complete unhealthiness of the legal profession and those in it. I know lawyers who plug away after having heart attacks, lawyers who are 85 years old who will never be able to retire and I just spoke to a lawyer younger than me who has to take several medications for anxiety and stress all to ward off the wonders of the job. Lesson number one: If it makes you sick, stop doing it!

Preparing For The Jump

If there's a way to jump safely off a cliff, I haven't found it. That course of action invariably includes closing my eyes and stepping into nothingness. Done it a few times. It's always turned out okay or better. Now, I'm jumping from the nice secure world of lawyer-dom into the no-net writing arena. Or Big Top, that might be a better description because sometimes it feels like I'm spinning around in a three-ring circus.

I've written two novels. One eighteen years ago. One last year. I currently have three other novels in some stage of completion, although two are pretty stagnant. The third, a sequel to the one I wrote last year, is moving along through about page 45 now. No bites on its predecessor yet and I have sent that one out to two other people for critiques.

My law practice is winding down, seemingly on its own. I wrapped up another case today, which leaves about 30 open cases. Of course, I have three trials scheduled for February, 2011, so that seems to be the total shutdown date. Between now and then, I'll wrap up what I have and, cross your fingers, finish a short novel that's floating around my head at the moment. All while continuing the adventures of the group in the sequel.

Scoreboard to date: Agents queried: 17. Agents requesting additional pages: 1. Rejections: 17.

Look at the bright side -- 16 out of 17 agents have no taste. The 17th is just weird. Remember, some (many) poor agent(s) rejected Harry Potter and Twilight.